In the pursuit of happiness…

My previous article -All you need to know to create your own happiness- has driven much traffic and readers. I’ve got a number of comments and thoughts that helps me reflect more on happiness. The list is truly far from complete… Here are some updated lessons on happiness that I have been collected from the comments, and some article that I found on the internet.

Alex Kay gives me a profound thought about not putting 10, but 7 or 9 as his scale of happiness. It is based on the explanation that he expected to learn more about happiness, a room for growth, to experience more happiness. I agreed with him that we all need to keep on learning to be happy, as all of us are actually in the pursuit of happiness.

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To change or not to change

We are all need to grow, we are all need to change, and that is undeniable.
But… how should we grow and what should we change?

The news today is inspired from “Winning with People” by John C. Maxwell, a quote from him…

When it comes to character issues, work on your weaknesses. When it comes to talents, go with your strengths.

John C. Maxwell

Yesterday I watched Oprah Winfrey show, a collection on her show’s 20^th anniversary, the first part that I watched is The Beginning, looking at how she struggled in the beginning of her career, from a reporter to news reader, and eventually a talk-show host. She also struggled with her physical outlook, black and big, but eventually she made it through and very successful as she is now.

Despite of all the admiration, I envy her… I envy her for being such a good communicator, good speaker; she is truly good with words. I envy her for being able to touch lives with so much inspiration, to bring the good from the guests in her show and share them to the world. Then I wonder… how is it possible to do the same thing with my talent? With my blog maybe?

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The three steps of being extraordinary

Have you read the past three insights I have shared on being extraordinary?

The three articles are the mindsets you need to have on being extraordinary. This article instead, will give you more insights on the bigger picture of how the three pieces relate together.

I was not planning for those three insights to be connected; I was just sharing based on the book that I have randomly read at that point of time. It is only after I share the articles that I see they are connected into a bigger picture.

It is truly the journey of being extraordinary, the journey that starts from attitude to responsibility, from helping yourself to helping others.

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The autobiography of growing

How do you grow?

Here is the five chapters of your autobiography if you’re growing…

Chapter 1: I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost… I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it still there. I still fall in… it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5: I walk down another street.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

An interesting biography, the important step is in Chapter 3, the two statements…

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Welcoming aging with smile

Do you have dream?

Is your dream big enough?

What have you done this year for achieving your dream? Anything to be thankful for? Any regrets for the time you have wasted?

One more year is going to be over, and another year is coming. It’s going to be a time of reflection, time of excitement and celebration, and time of setting some more goal in the new year. But will you also be celebrating the fact that in the new year you’re getting older and you’re aging?

Pursuing a dream is not easy, many ups and downs, yet we need to have persistence. In any time of the year what we need to be reminded of our dream and keep growing, keep ticking. It’s what Albert Einstein said…

It’s not that I am so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.

Albert Einstein

On growing, Dr. Henry Cloud shares three ingredients of growth in his book,Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future. These are the three…

Grace, it’s serenity, it’s God’s grace in spite of our weaknesses, it’s about forgiving ourselves, enjoying your blunder, and even laugh over our mistake…
Truth, it’s courage, knowing the truth reveals what we need to change, getting into the corridor and taking step to change, to pursue our dream…

And the third ingredient of growth is…

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What’s the happiest day in your life?

Some of us will be reminded of the special day with your loved one(s), the day you say “I love you”, your first date, your wedding day, your honeymoon or your time with your friends and family.

Some of us will be reminded of the day we achieved our goal, the day you break the record, the day you made your best deal, achieving your business goal.

Some of us will be reminded of the day we’re rewarded, maybe your birthday, and everyone throws you a surprise b’day party, when somebody give you what you have longed for, or being promoted on your job.

And some of us will be reminded of the day we gave, the day we’re able to help somebody, we ministered and made impact to other people’s life.

But what Joyce Meyer’s answer in her article surprised me, she said…

I have decided that today is going to be the happiest day of my life! Tomorrow I will make the same decision, and the day after that and so on.

Joyce Meyer

As psalmist said,

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad.

King David (Psalm 118:24)

Notice, the ‘will’, having a happy day is usually the result of our choice, our attitude toward whatever happens during the day. Some options:

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Start declaring (though you can’t affirm)

Do you dream of becoming a better you? Can you start affirming that you have the character that you have dreamed about? It’s okay if you can’t, most of us can’t make affirmation toward ourselves because we know that we are trying to lie to ourselves, deep inside we know that we’re not there yet, and hence our affirmation is kind of in-sincere statements we make towards ourselves.

T. Harv Eker in his book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth, encourages declaration instead of affirmation, what’s the difference?

The difference between a declaration and an affirmation is slight, but in my mind, powerful. The definition of an affirmation is “a positive statement asserting that a goal you wish to achieve is already happening.” The definition of a declaration is “to state an official intention to undertake a particular course of action or adopt a particular status.”

T. Harv Eker

And why does he encourage declaration instead of affirmation?

…often when we affirm something that is not yet real, the little voice in our head usually responds with “This isn’t true, this is BS.”

On the other hand, declaration is not saying something is true, it’s stating that we have an intention of doing or being something. This is a position the little voice can buy, because we’re not stating it’s true right now, but again, it’s an intention for us in the future.

T. Harv Eker

What can we do to start declaring? write down or tell yourself a declaration. Blogging for me is also a good practice of declaring, blog about the character you want to develop, character you wish to have.

An example, check my post on generosity. Having been raised as a spoiled child, generosity is something I’m very lack of, sure you will see if you’re around me. But as I write the quote from John C. Maxwell about generosity, I’m inspired to pray as I write, “God, I’m not having this character yet, but I know I’m in the progress of having it. I’d like to have the attitude that I’m blessed, I have abundant life for me to share with others, I’m in the progress of having generosity.”

So, start declaring that you’re on the way there, even if you can’t affirm that you’re there. Inch by inch, you will achieve your goal.

God bless you!

PS: Thanks to my friend, Diin, who recommended me this book ^_^

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Rewards of improving

Again from the book from John C. Maxwell, Be A People Person, John discusses about one of the important characteristics of a winning team, that is “keep improving”. What will be required to keep improving? We need to change, we need to take risk, we need to give up past success and failures to keep on improving and winning.

And something that interests me, is what John mentioned about the rewards of improving.

The highest reward for man’s improvement is not what he gets for it; it’s what he becomes as a result of it. Ask yourself why you are trying to improve. Is it to receive something for it? If so, that’s the wrong motive. Try to improve because it makes you a better person.

John C. Maxwell

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Keep Ticking

“Don’t think hierarchy, think journey”
Brian Kim

Many wise people think that life is a journey, what characterized a life as a journey?
Joyce Meyer mentioned about enjoying your journey as you enjoy every day of your life,
Anthony Robbins mentioned about his term CANI (Constant And Never-ending Improvement) think that each day is our chance to grow.

Somewhere in the world (I can’t remember where) when you were in a travelator, some sound will keep on telling you, “keep walking, keep walking…”. Why is that so, because the travelator is very long, and it tells you to keep on walking, otherwise it will take you very long to reach the end.

Similarly, my sister mentioned today about an illustration about the second hand of a clock, each time it makes a very small movement, a move that represents only a second, its life seems very insignificant. But wondering about that, it’s that move that give us a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, and the list goes on…

It’s the small step that counts big eventually. Choose to do your best today, choose to grow better today, that’s a small step that you can choose today.

Keep growing! Keep walking! Keep ticking!

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Let’s talk about God

Having difficulty to talk about God in your daily life? Most of us think that talking about God and even more about Christianity is unnatural, it seems unusual and even strange.

First question you need to ask yourself, does God take only a part of your life? or whole of your life? Adrian Ng, a brother in my church gave a very good message and illustration on God-soaked life. A life where God is on the throne, directing all the aspects of our life.

First step, will you have excitement to talk about God, finding out the relevance of anything under the sun to the God’s big story of human kind redemption? God-soaked life means that your life is inseparable from God, He commands all the aspects of our life, hence it’s very natural for us to talk about Him.

Second step, creatively talk about God, have empathy and listen to the needs of others, not only as a mere “soul to be saved”, but really out of our love for others.

This post is inspired by the message brought by Adrian Ng, “How to talk about God to your friends”

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