photo credit: Robb North

Writing could be a hard thing to do. Having no audience or lesser readers could be better. For me, it means lesser concerns on the impacts of my writing. Launching my new theme was made to mark a new beginning. I am now trying to write just like how I started blogging few years ago. Simply write and thinking less of other stuffs. Categorization, direction (or purpose), standards, and keeping good impression are some of the things I want let go. It’s back to the earlier passion of writing.

Nevertheless, writing is still not an easy thing to do. Besides getting back to our old pattern, we sometimes find that our creativity juice is not flowing. Writers call it writers’ block, but I believe we all, knowledge worker that requires creativity, face it at one point or another. Sometimes we ask, ‘Where has that creativity gone?’

In processing that thought I have found some answers and I would like to share it with you in this article.

Where has creativity gone?

Maybe I need some rest. Rest is one main ingredient for creativity. In rest, I’m not referring to sleeping alone, it is the restful heart. Stress and creativity will not work together. Cosimo de’ Medici has believed that pressuring his artists would not get them producing their best works. Restful heart is free from worry and anxiety, from fear of something that will unlikely to happen. Restful heart is a trusting, hopeful, and cheerful heart. Rest gives you time to think and reflect, not merely consuming more materials to spice up your creativity.

Where has creativity gone?

I remembered watching one writer was giving a speech in TED Talk. I couldn’t remember her name, but she was sharing one worry that writers have; that their best work was that of the past, and there is no point to write anymore. It’s simply mind-blowing to me. Maybe it’s the worry that our present work will not match up to our past, putting us to procrastinate on engaging our creativity. It’s one thing to believe that our best work is the next one, but it’s also important to let go our past work as our baseline. Holding fast to our past works could prevent us to create something new, even if at the end it does not turn as good as our past work.

Where has creativity gone?

Is that perfectionism? I want to include more and more reference to what I’m writing. I have to add for the sake of complexity. I have to add for the sake of correctness; I’ve got to have the right and complete sentences I quoted. I have to add for the sake of reliability, showing that it’s not my useless ramblings. Do I have to add not to plagiarize? Or was that cover up of the doubt I have in my opinion? I have to back all my opinions with others’ statement that inspired me. The list can go longer and longer, stealing us from our creativity? What if we can break the rule that we created ourselves? Simply relax, believe, and express your creativity?

Where has creativity gone?

Maybe it is worry that I’m not as smart as what I expected? Has calling myself stupid made it into reality? Or it might be the low IQ, which decreasing over time? Was that why the creativity is not there? Carol S. Dweck noticed the pattern and wrote it into an article she wrote, titled “Belief That Make Smart People Dumb” (Steinberg, 2002).  Inside, she was sharing that our belief of fixed intelligence has prevented us to take courageous steps. For such person, failure is a big thing for it is proving that he or she is dumb or not intelligent enough. Failure disrupts their self-worth, and learning is as risky as the opportunities that will reveal their ignorance and errors they make.

Where has creativity gone?

Maybe it’s simply hard work that is required. Maybe we can enjoy the pleasure of effort and detach its result from our self worth. The word “gifted” might give people impression that they can achieve what they want without much effort. It undermines the hard work and commitment they have to put and invest. Our belief in our “gifted”ness could prevent us to make the commitment, persuading us to give up when we face obstacles. Maybe we should believe the other way round? We should not be bothered by whether or not we are intelligent or gifted. We can believe that we can learn and grow. Our intelligence will grow with it, and only then we will be “gifted” and able to do things easier.

Where has creativity gone?

It’s right here. It might be hidden until you take the first step. It might call you to simply start writing and letting go what you want to say. Just like what I did in drafting this article, my ramblings formed up into an article. It might not be the usual article you will find in the internet. I guess not many people sharing their thought and its complexity like this in a blog. But hopefully it’s a story that you can learn from. It’s not in a point form or bullet point, but I hope that it will help you digging and passing through any writing block or procrastination that has come in front of you. It has made my day; hopefully it makes your day too!

Robert

Resources:

1. Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid by Robert J. Sternberg.
2. To Be of Use: The Seven Seeds of Meaningful Work by Dave Smith.

photo credit: wili_hybrid

Two weeks have passed since my birthday. It’s  a new journey, not only as a 27th year old man, but also as a new entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur? Yeah, eventually I resigned from my ex-company to explore something new in my life. Five years ago, 2nd of August 2004, I started my first job, and exactly after five years of working, here I am, a new entrepreneur.

The Wild at Heart

Deep within I believe that I am not reaching my potential in my previous employment. I have thought about that since last December but didn’t put up enough courage to leave the job. There are series of events, series of books I read that lead me to the decision; but in short, I leave my job only knowing one thing, that it doesn’t make me alive.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
~Gil Bailie, quoted by John Eldredge (Wild at Heart)

Have you read the book Wild at Heart? It’s a book about man, not only the gender they were born with, but the adventure that they are meant to live.  This is the book that ignite my desire to find something new in my life.

The Highly Sensitive Person

Wild at Heart is not the only one book that influence me. The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), a book by Elaine H. Aron, that describes my personality better than merely introverts. More than that, I also read Making Work Work for HSP by Barrie S. Jaeger. You can read more in my review of the book here. The book emphasized on the importance of boundary and self-care for HSP. But the book also depicts the unique strength of HSP, and where we can grow the most.

We are often original, complex, and talented, and can handle blending several different talents together in unconventional ways. But you may have to out on your own to do this, since finding a job where you can apply several skills may require considerable patience in the search, and strong social skills to cultivate a situation to your liking.
~Barrie S. Jaeger (Making Work Work for Highly Sensitive Person)

The Result-Oriented

I am convicted by an article by Scott H. Young, Don’t Pay Yourself By The Hour. I have gradually disliked the 9-5 culture because of its emphasize to stay 8 hours in the office even if you are sleeping, listening to music, playing game, surfing the net, and not being productive at all. Late comer needs to work later despite of their results. It’s the assumption that people is working only if they are in the office. With the advance of digital technology thus far, is that reasonable?

I have also listened to 4-Hour Workweek audio-book by Timothy Ferris, with again the same emphasize on result-oriented work, even to the extent of finishing the work within the first four hour of your day. It’s not about the number of hours you work, but putting quality at your work, that frees you for other things that matter in your life.

The other provocative statement Timothy inspired me is to “ask forgiveness, not permission”. He raised the idea of courage at work. I am a cautious person, maybe too cautious by nature, with tendency of fear in making mistakes and asking permission to run away from responsibility. That statement affected me to put more courage, to try things out, with desire to deliver more.

The Maverick

All what I have read and listened above, I am trying it out. It affected my values but unfortunately I don’t have the channel to express them. I have ever expressed the idea to one of my closest boss, only to get scolded. At the end, I am seen only as a maverick.

Webster Dictionary defined maverick as “a pioneer, an independent individual who does not go along with a group”. Does it sound bad?

Before you judge the mavericks, I want to share the following chapter on one of Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, No Room for Mavericks. You will see what mavericks can do for their leaders. Okay, it’s not a justification to all the mavericks out there; I have made mistakes as well as maverick. If you see at the end of the book, you will see the truly useful maverick. They are unselfish to meet the company goals and patience to earn the right to be heard, attributes I need to learn as well.

Over the past few months, I resent the company for not giving space to use my strength, they saw me as a maverick that needs to be changed. They saw me as a liability rather than an asset. I was stopped for being creative, and told to just do it. They don’t need a thinker, they only need a programmer. They don’t give me problem to solve, but rather software program to be written. I read the book, Go, Put Your Strength at Work by Marcus Buckingham, and it’s been my desire to find a work that can make use of my strength rather than coping with my current one.

The Incomplete

At the end, I’m just incomplete and confused, to live up what I believe, or to listen and obey what my bosses want. I tried to persevere for 6 months, and I found myself not performing my best. The company couldn’t trust me, and I couldn’t trust the company to share my knowledge and viewpoints on things.

One day I decided to take an action without permission, to continue my work from home to meet my deadline. Timothy Ferris suggested to call in sick and prove that you can work from home with more productivity. Nevertheless, I am convicted by a verse in the bible not to do it…

It is better to be a poor man than a liar
(Proverbs 19:22b)

Rather than calling in sick, I called in to ask to continue to work from home with a promise to deliver on time. It’s like I’m asking for a problem, but I don’t want to give them another impression that again I’m running away from my responsibility by calling in sick. At the very least, I have confidence that I am speaking the truth. I wanted to deliver, and I need more freedom rather than strict structure.

Unfortunately, my direct boss took it negatively. It grew his resentment, eventually the event leads to my decision to resign, they asked me to leave soon after, and here I am now in the new journey. I don’t consider myself as unemployed, I consider myself as an entrepreneur, a freelancer in web development and design. I want to see more of what I can do, to build more portfolio to build my confidence and other’s confidence.

Besides my freelance, I am also taking my part-time postgraduate study, Master of Science in Knowledge Management, a very interesting topic that I’ll share more with you later on.

That is my story and updates, thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting this new journey, a challenging journey, but a more fulfilling one.

Meanwhile, keep on smiling,
Robert

PS: Please let me know if you need my service in web/blog development, modification, and design, I’ll see what I can help you with. Contact me through the contact page.