The Shadow Effect

Aug 27, 2009 by

Vodable - cave - 27-08-2007 - 11h05
Creative Commons License photo credit: Panoramas

Do you have the little self within you that you’ve been trying to hide all the time? It could be your childhood trauma. It could be wounds and hurts that forced you to hide them. And, by the way, it is your shadow.

It is something that you want to hide behind accomplishment and fake personality. It is also be something that you think you are not, a potential that you purposely hide within you.

They are like beach ball that will float on water. The more you dislike them, the more you push it under and eventually the more pressure you will feel.

One better way is to embrace them. Debbie Ford in her movie, The Shadow Effect shared how true it is that what we resist will persist. On the other hand, what you befriend, you will transcend.

The DVD consists of 2 CDs. One full-length movie, and another interactive CD, where Debbie will ask you several questions to realize and work on your shadow.

From your Darkest Thought…

Debbie brought us into the basement of our life, the shadows in our life. She brought us to how we can find out our shadows…

In our strength

One of the first question Debbie asked in the interactive CD is the strength we are mostly proud of. I answered with creativity and openness. Came to my surprise, Debbie mentioned later in the movie that their opposite could be our shadow.

In the book Egonomics, David Marcum shared that our strength can become our weakness when ego came. Analytical can become pessimistic, optimistic can become unrealistic, straightforward can become inconsiderate, diplomatic can become political, innovatice can become impractical. When we need to defend our strength, we will stumble.

Personally, I think Debbie brought up a point that, maybe, we need to defend our strength that much, because it’s something related with the real self we need to hide behind. We will become really defensive when we need to be identified with our strength. Think about it.

In the people you judge or dislike

What we judge in another, is ultimately a disowned part of ourselves.
~Debbie Ford

It’s called projecting. We see a part that we dislike about ourselves, our shadow, into others. But how do we know if it’s our stuff or theirs? Debbie quoted Ken Wilber that if one takes it as information or point of interest then it’s not projecting. On the other hand, it is your stuff if you reply with reactive and judgmental response.

I think I have a practical example, I disliked critical person so much. I could become judgmental towards those with traditional and old mindset. I’m trying to be an open-minded person, an agreeable person to cover it, and I am proud of it. I’m trying to show it in this blog and in my life. But internally, I could be critical against myself, I could be perfectionist, and eventually sometimes towards others.


… to Your Greatest Dream

As we move through our shadows, we can reclaim our light.
~Debbie Ford

Debbie doesn’t stop in identifying them. She continued with how you can forgive yourself, embrace your wounds and hurts, and see that there is gold to be mined in every experience. Maybe it’s limitation that brings you advantages, maybe it’s hurt that allows you to reach out to the people with the similar hurt, maybe it’s the personality in which God has made you and you are OK with it. As Debbie called it, “it is your divine recipe”.

There is also a turning point in the video, that our shadow doesn’t have to be those with dark quality. It can be positive quality as well. Fortunately, it’s also something that we often project to others. Debbie brought us to the exercise on finding out people we admire, their quality, and many ways that we can also exercise and develop the qualities.

And last but not least, Debbie brought us into an exercise of forgiving ourselves. When we can forgive ourselves, we can forgive others. When we can love ourselves, we can love others also.

Be what you are.
This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.
-Julius Charles Hare

Here is the link to Debbie Ford’s site to get more information on her movie and her work.

All the best,

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  1. A nice write up of a difficult subject. Shall give Debby a try despite being a skeptic at heart. Almost all the stuff now appearing are old material in new packaging.
    .-= Nicole Price´s last blog ..India’s Squabbling Siblings: A Tale of Two Billionaires =-.

  2. 🙂 thanks Nicole for your comment.

  3. I love this article! It is so timely, Robert…
    I’m suffering right now with the thinking of not being good enough, a loser, and somehow feel like alone in this world, and reading ur blog here recharge me with the spirit to smile again. Thanks for sharing 🙂 looking forward your next good reason for smile ^_^
    .-= Irene´s last blog ..Support Hours and Updates =-.

  4. Self satisfaction is the best thing to pleasure. But you have shown also a better way to finding the happiness.
    .-= fourposter beds´s last blog ..The truth behind the demise of cabinet made furniture pt3 =-.

  5. Irene, really grateful that this article is timely for you.
    Beds, thanks again for your comments.

    All the best in embracing your shadows,

  6. It’s true that no body want to show up their secrets.

  7. Hi Robert,
    Thanks for your url. Have linked you. I am sure folks will enjoy your open and honest posts.

    I personally find that God increases my awareness of my shadows, and help me to embrace them.
    .-= Blogpastor´s last blog ..A slow down at Bukit Timah hill =-.

  8. Hi Pastor Kenny, you’re welcome! Thanks for the link & comment.
    Also for the tea this afternoon! =)

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