Three Life Lessons From My Room

Jun 18, 2009 by Robert A Henru

Last weekend, my room taught me a number of lessons. It all started with my old wardrobe, a fabric wardrobe (the first picture in the gallery below). Over 5 years of usage, it has degraded. The fabric is torn here and there, it is not zipped properly, slanted and it cannot stand properly. I’ve been hesitating to replace it until now. As I just renewed my room rental contract, I thought this is a good time to get me new furniture and rearrange my room. And more than a new room, the experience taught me a number of lessons. I’ll share three of them in this post.

1) It taught me to spoil myself

I’ve always been hesitating to buy new furniture. I only rent a room here in Singapore. Even though I’ve been staying in the same place for almost 5 years, I know that one day I will have to move. And I prefer not to have many furniture to bring.

One earlier example was my mattress. I replaced my old one a year ago. I’ve been using it for close to 7 years. It’s no longer comfortable yet I didn’t want to replace it. It took me my sister’s advice before I went and bought a new one. Otherwise, I might still persist on to sleep on my old mattress.

“For the world to treat you well, you have to treat yourself well.” That’s how a chapter on spoiling yourself started in Andrew Matthews’ book, Follow Your Heart (review). No one sees my room so I thought it should not be in the priority. I thought that I can live with it, so why bother spending. Even more, I dislike and worry with the idea of moving and bringing them around, which is actually still uncertain and it could be many years down the road.

If you have been saving too much, or getting worry of uncertain matters in the future, let’s evaluate them again. If you’ve been telling yourself to enjoy later, why can’t we enjoy our life now. You can feel the prosperity now, because…

Prosperity is not necessarily a money thing, it is a lifestyle thing.
~Andrew Matthews (Follow Your Heart (review))

2) It taught me to be creative

I went to IKEA last Saturday, a Swedish-origin furniture retailer, looking for a wardrobe. I decided that it had to be a common wardrobe, a wooden one with at least three doors. I don’t care if it’s hard to bring if I need to move, but I’m just tired of having a fabric wardrobe and I really need to get a wooden one.

“Unfortunately“, IKEA is not only a furniture store. It’s a place of ideas, hundreds or maybe thousands of them. They offer you opportunity to be as creative as you can in organizing your house and office.

Its catalog introduced me with the open concept wardrobe, with no walls nor doors. It interested me. At least it has wooden base which is much stronger than fabric. It’s not too heavy if I need to move from my rented apartment. The concept comes with boxes as well. I can put all my clothes there and they will save me from the hassle of packing and unpacking if one day I need to move.

The idea excited me to find more items that I can use together with the open-concept wardrobe. I was looking for a possibility to use curtain, boxes that I can hang freely, and also some companion shelves.

My need brought me creativity. A limited budget, limited space, and limited weight that I prefer has taught me to find a number of items that I can put together for my desired piece of wardrobe.

Now let’s talk about our life. I believe it must come with both goals and limitations. They seem to be contradictory, but I believe they can complement each other. Your limitations might be there for a lesson. They have some lessons to teach, and you might take them as opportunities to be creative and overcome them.

God doesn’t give an overcoming life, God gives life as we overcome.
~Elder Barney Lau (CEFC), former Microsoft’s MD in Singapore

3) It taught me to let go perfectionism

I rented a study room here in Singapore. Now you know why I need to get my own wardrobe and mattress. But worse, it is actually a small room, smaller than a common room.

The new wardrobe I got is bigger than my old one, so I have to learn to fit it into my room. It took me a long time. I adjusted the position of my stuffs many times before I settled with one arrangement. Even then, now I also realized that I’m still not satisfied with it.

The experience taught me a number of lessons about my perfectionism. I desired too much structure and comfort that it steals me a lot of my time. I thought too much of the pro and cons when I put thing in a certain place. I changed my mind a lot. I confused myself and undo my decision pretty soon.

It took me some time before I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my room size is still a small one. I’ve got to live with it, at least for now.

Eventually I have to let go of some of my desires. My decision will always have trade-ins and I have to prioritize. I can’t get everything right in one shot, but I can stick longer with the decision I made, and as the time pass by, I can evaluate them again.

In software development, there is a concept of recursive development model. It’s development in a cycle. Briefly, it goes from requirement gathering, design, implementation, testing, user evaluation, and back to the first phase again.

The phases are repeated as we don’t expect to get everything right in one cycle. More importantly, the model gets the development going. It saves us time. Even better, with the constant evaluation, we can provide what our client really need.

Let’s talk about our life now. With the limitations you have, I believe the decision is not always the right one. They have flaws, but as you move, you will see how it progress. From there, you may need to re-evaluate your decision. A mistake will help you to learn better than fear and worry.

Ask forgiveness, not permission.
~Timothy Ferris (Four-Hour Work Week)

Concluding thought

Let’s now imagine the room is your life. How has it teach you?

Let’s talk about the first lesson above. Have you treated yourself well all along? Have you loved yourself enough so that you can love others? Or did you throw in more critics and disappointments all the time?

And now, if you have needs, dreams and desires, have you worked on them? Have you used your creativity? You may not come out with the perfect one, but have you started with some actions?

Yes, it could be a struggle, like the cat in the following video (All Tangled Up video). Yet the struggle can bring a little piece of happiness. The ball of yarn you’re struggling with right now can become a piece of clothes that can put a smile on your face.

So don’t give up!
Robert

Oh, and by the way, these are some pictures of my wardrobe and room =).