photo credit: somegeekintn

Is it comfortable for you to say “I don’t know”?

I learned one thing last week. It’s about saying “I don’t know”. It’s important because when we assume knowledge we often stop learning. There is a power in saying I don’t know.

We may think ourselves knowledgeable, but is that always true? We can assume knowledge, but there has to be certain part of ourselves that is willing to accept that “we don’t know” yet. We can be hungry. That’s how we will be satisfied.

We can learn so much from saying “I don’t know”. If you are not comfortable saying it yet, you may want to ponder these questions…

Is that ego stopping you?

Egonomics (review) taught the importance of humility in managing our ego. The book describes duality principle as one of its perspective. “I am brilliant and I am not”.  Humility applies also with our knowledge. It says “I have knowledge, but there are so much more things that I need to learn.”

Stever Robbins, the Get-it-Done Guy from Quick and Dirty Tips Podcast (review) also mentioned about the same issue last week. It regards with managing older team. People often see younger person as inexperienced and not knowledgeable. What will you do if you have to manage them?

One important point that Stever mentioned was to acknowledge that we are not expert. In other words, you can say “I don’t know”. As a manager, you are not required to be the expert, but you are required to manage people to work together as a team. Rather than approaching them as an expert, approach them as the facilitator to get the jobs done.

Getting the team to collaborate, Ken Blanchard in his book, Self Leadership and the One Minute Manager (review) has a powerful statement. It is “I need”. Here is quoted from the book, Cayla, the mentor in the story was comparing between asking for help and saying “I need”…

When you tell someone you want something, their first thought is usually, we all want things we can’t have. When you use the “I need” phrase, you’re coming from a position of strength. You’ve thought about what it’s going to take to succeed and are requesting a person’s help. It’s amazing, but human beings love to feel needed. They love to think they can help you. ‘I need’ is very compelling.
~Cayla (Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager)

What are you defending?

I have ideas, and I can be quite defensive about my ideas. That happens when I attached my ideas to my identity. In other words, it is like saying, “I will lose my sense of worth if can’t defend this idea.” David Marcum in Egonomics (review) taught us a better way. We need to detach our ideas from our identity, we can defend our ideas, but it’s no longer for our self-focused purpose, but for the best for the team. We instead of Me.

We don’t have to say “I don’t know” verbally, but “I don’t know” can be an attitude of letting go of our identity. We do not have anything to protect when we are saying “I don’t know”. It’s not about lowering your self-esteem, but it’s about taking a position of learning while proposing your idea. You will see the idea objectively rather than subjectively. There might be much better idea you haven’t thought about and saying “I don’t know” help you to see that possibility.

Are you procrastinating?

photo credit: Davichi

Do you have to be an expert at something before starting? Scott H Young gave us an example that you don’t have to be an expert to start something. He started his blog as a student without knowing much. But he has made a different. While many people were hold back, he started writing and sharing. And now he can be considered as one of the successful blogger.

Lack of expertise should not become an excuse to procrastinate. The point of this article is not about making the statement “I don’t know” as an excuse. The point of this article is the willingness to admit and accept the fact, know where we are, and know that we need to learn to continue on.

Expertise matters when the cost of mistakes is high. Most of the time, it’s not the case. Neil Fiore in his book, The Now Habit (review) depict the point as walking on a solid board which is thirty feet long (around 9 meters), four inches thick (around 0.1 meters), and one foot wide (around 0.3 meters). It’s okay when we do it on the ground, taking some courage to do it 1-2 metres above the ground, and taking a lot of courage if we do it 100 meters above the ground.

Unfortunately, many of us raise the standard, raise the board higher, and making it sounds so difficult. We assume the knowledge that things are difficult and complicated, so why can’t we say, “I don’t know”? Say that you will try, so you will know!

When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.
~Eckhart Tolle – A New Earth (review)

Are you hungry?

“The hungrier life is a blessed life.” That statement came after a study on Psalm 84 in our church. The psalm talks about the thirst of the psalmist for the house of God. He considered himself in a pilgrimage, heading towards mount Zion, a sacred place, a picture of a place of destiny. He considered the valley experience as a temporary place, even more a pool of blessing. It’s not easy to flood the peak, but it’s much easier to flood the valley.

I don’t know how to end this article. I was stuck at this last paragraph for some moment. I was just expressing the feeling and then I realized I just said “I don’t know”. It’s a wonderful experience that saying “I don’t know” can be a good start. I will just end it with an encouragement that it’s OK when you said you don’t know. We all have something we don’t know yet. It’s an expression that we are hungry and willing to learn. In conclusion, stay hungry, it’s a blessing!

Passion,
Robert