The Curriculum of Life
We are all looking to become a better person, but where should we start from?
Looking at ourselves, we see things that we need to work on. You can choose to work on your strengths when we talk about talents. But when we talk about characters, sooner or later, we need to work on our weaknesses and limitations. You want to be a better person, you want to understand yourself better. You want to change.
Looking at others, we see the various choices and decisions they have made. Should we try to follow their example? But that will be too many, which one should we pick?
Look at the book shelves, in library or book shops, a wide spectrum of knowledge to learn from. They can easily overwhelm you with the many different opinions, the many choices and things to learn from.
Look at advertisements, in newsletter or TV, you may see lots of offer and promotions. Classes, seminars, and books. They are touching our deepest desire to become a better person, to know more, to have more, and to become more of ourselves.
Last year I shared a personal development course that I took, The Courage to Create. It deals a lot with digging ourselves. The program asked us to remember our past, traumas that formed our subconscious belief. When we found the promises and beliefs we have made, we can deal with them, and finally let go of them. The program is not cheap, and what they offer is quick identification of the subconscious beliefs, with the hope that your life will change as you are no longer controlled by them.
Do I regret taking the program? A bit. I learn many things about myself, but I found that I’m not even ready to face what I know. It gets me confused, I can’t even sure that things that I found out is correct or not. I may need to process my past more, but the follow up programs and sessions they offer is quite costly.
It’s only recently I learned an opposing point of view. It’s from Sy Rogers. From his biography, you will learn that he has struggle with his sexuality. He’s been living a gay life in most of his younger years. He was sexually abused by his uncle, and that caused his insecurity on his manhood. He was even almost undergoing sex change operation.
Eventually he was touched by God’s love and the church community he was in. It took a long process and commitment. And now he has married and has a daughter. And even more he has become an inspiring speaker in the area of sexual redemption.
Sy Rogers changed, not according to his own way, but God’s way. He mentioned that when we desire change, we sometimes overtake God’s way. It might be an honorable desire to become a better person, but it shows how impatience we are to change. God doesn’t want us to deal with all our problems at once. He has a process He wants us to go through. He does not take away the difficult people and circumstances from our life because He wanted us to learn from them. He wanted us to take His curriculum, the curriculum of life.
The curriculum of life
Henry Matthews in his book, Follow Your Heart shared about the 3 perspectives of life we can choose.
- “Why do bad things always happen to me?”
- “Life is a lottery, but I make the most of whatever comes along”
- “My life is a series of lessons I need, happening in perfect order”
Which one will you choose?
The first one will guarantee you a life of misery and frustration. The second one is slightly better, giving an average quality of life, but it’s only the third one that will give you guaranteed peace of mind.
Have you started living? We often wish a different self, a different personality, a different challenge. Maybe it’s out of our impatience for the future that we forgot to live in the presence.
You can dig up all the subconscious belief you are in, you may put a lot of effort to become a perfect person, but the best lesson you’ve got to take is the lesson from your life NOW.
When we fail to learn a lesson, we get to take it again… and again! Once we have learned the lesson, we move on to the next one. (And we never run out of lessons!)
~Andrew Matthews (Follow Your Heart)
And who are you getting the lesson from?
Every person who walks into your life is a teacher. Even if they drive you nuts, they teach you because they show you where your limits are. Just because people are your teachers doesn’t mean you have to like them.
~Andrew Matthews (Follow Your Heart)
One said that even if we think we have become a better person, it’s not proven until it’s tested in relationship. One major character that rob us from learning is our defensiveness. As I shared with you as a lesson from the book Egonomics (review), it will try to justify your behaviors. It is the perception that what people think bad about you are wrong. Only when we really engage with the life and circumstance we are in right now, we can learn from it.
Yeah, this is the school of life, and they have its curriculum. It’s up to you to join any personal development or motivational program, but will you also learn from life? That’s the least you have to take. Whether you want it or not, the life has taught you lessons. If you learn from it, you go to the next level, otherwise, you’ll stay in the same level, again and again.
For your growth,