Should you write more or less?
I would like to thank Rummy, this message is all started by what he commented in Jean’s post on Writers’ Blockhead. I am encouraged by what he said on how my posts have made some impacts. It’s not to boast about it as he also pointed his disappointment seeing how I wrote less these days.
I am honored by his expectation. I would love to write more and I’m looking forward to. But sometimes I have to sacrifice writing for some more important thing. I can just write more and more but I might be starving. And I may need to eat more…
Competence and Character
Both are important, and focusing in only one of them will not be enough to gain your trust. Stephen M. R. Covey in his book, The Speed of Trust, speaking of both behaviors that you need to develop to improve both of them.
What is character? Covey described it as both Integrity and Intent. Integrity as in whether or not you are congruent and true to yourself, and intent on the question on the agenda why you do certain things.
How about competence? Covey described it as both Capabilities and Results. Capabilities on the question whether your knowledge is relevant, and results as in your track records and what you have delivered.
This is all about how you can gain Self Trust, the very core of trust that you are needed. It’s about whether or not you can be confident of yourself. You need to trust yourself before you can expect others to trust you. And you will only develop that by being and behaving what is needed. It is what Covey said as the Relationship Trust, the behaviors that you need to build on your relationship with others. And you have to focus on both of them, equally and in balanced, not only to gain your trust, but to maintain them as well.
This is important to recognize because generally, the quickest way to decrease trust is to violate a behavior of character, while the quickest way to increase trust is to demonstrate a behavior of competence.
~Stephen M.R. Covey (The Speed of Trust)
Sometimes I felt sick of self-improvement and self-help stuffs. Yes, I did. I came to a point of saturation in building character. I came to realize that without competence, character will not have much value. We can’t trust ourselves, and certainly others will not trust us.
My previous post shared about an open-source life, which is sounded as a life with strength in character, both integrity and intent. However, it is only half the solution, an open source project need to be competent as well, relevant and able to deliver. That’s the only way they can compete with those commercial projects that monopolize the market.
My friend, Diin shared with me the saturation point that he also experienced after he read many motivational and business books. But he didn’t stop there, that point made him start making action and applying what he has learned. He has started his business now, and working hard on it.
That saturation point is usually a sign that we need to do what we have learned; to stop preparing and make action. We need to build the competence and deliver results. It’s not enough to just deepen our root, but we need to grow outside and make some fruits. We need to stop preparing and start making some actions.
The Starving Baker
Back to the conversation in Jean’s post, her reply really helped me up. She believed that I’m integrating my post into my life. She considered it much better than spending time writing words and words. She even said that I have to do it; otherwise I’ll make my message shallow and not deep enough.
That message reminded me of the Starving Baker figure that Tim Elmore shared in the first book of Habitudes series, The Art of Self-Leadership. The figure really represents my condition very well; and I want to share the paragraph below from the book that really encouraged me to know that I’m in the right path…
So many leaders fail to tend to themselves, and eventually are unable to really serve others. They are starving intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. When they do read their Bibles, or listen to CDs or tapes, it is always for someone else. They are always preparing some Bible study for a group or message for others. They read for “program”, not for personal growth, and neglect to consume the nourishment or apply it to their own lives. Their “talk” is great. Their “walk” becomes fake. They go through the motions, but aren’t really spending time eating the “bread of life” (John 6:35). They are spiritually starving… so close to food, yet never eating.”
~Tim Elmore (Habitudes #1 – The Art of Self-Leadership)
I was feeling guilty of “eating” and not “serving”. I was feeling overwhelmed by what I have committed to do. Writing made me feel guilty for not being able to do it, while not writing made me feel guilty for not being able to keep up with the commitment and giving my best.
If you experience the same guilty feeling in blogging, serving, or any other commitment you have, I hope this message will encourage you to spend some time to recover your energy, to tend yourself, and to really “walk” your “talk”. That message spoke to me very strong and I hope it speaks to you too!
Let’s work in our competence and not only character. Let’s work on ourselves and not simply serving.
You don’t have to write less, but I hope you find some times to eat more.
Eating,
Robert
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11 Comments
Evelyn Lim
on 19th Aug, 08 02:08am
I post only twice a week but must admit that it’s tempting to post more frequently. I hold myself back because the other stuff that I do when I’m not blogging is equally important. For one, I spend a lot of time reading and meditating. If I don’t do these, I cannot write.
I also do not expect my readers to only subscribe to my blog. Most readers who are into personal development read a variety. They probably have a lot of messages to read in their inbox. I’d prefer that they click on every link of mine, knowing that although I write less, my posts are solid with info that they can use.
I think it is important to work out a balance that suits you. Think of it this way: when you also have time to experience the richness of life outside blogging, you can also share better when you get back to your PC. Your readers will understand! Take care!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..10 Insights Into The Power Of Thoughts
Robert A.
on 19th Aug, 08 04:08am
Hi Evelyn, thanks for your encouraging message and your story as well. Take care!
Robert
Alex Kay
on 19th Aug, 08 01:08pm
I write whenever I feel like I have something to say. That’s just the way I run things… But everyone’s different, and that’s important to remember!
Good read Robert
Tim Brownson
on 19th Aug, 08 03:08pm
@ Alex – That’s my take too. I don’t feel the need to ‘produce’ something if there’s nothing to say. Similarly I’m not averse to posting on consecutive days if I have lots to say and I never stockpile posts.
As you say though, we’re all different and I don’t really think there is a right or wrong way, it’s down to the individual.
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Ways To Be Miserable – The Video
Jean Browman--Cheeerful Monk
on 19th Aug, 08 04:08pm
For those interested in the conversation at my post, here’s what I wrote in the comments section:
rummuser,
What changes have you made in your life from reading Robert’s posts? For me that’s the true measure of a post, not just the feel-good experience when one reads it. And change takes time.
I’m assuming Robert is applying what he writes to his own life, and that’s more important than just writing more words. Also the comments section of posts is a great way of discussing how we’re integrating ideas into our lives. A post isn’t just the initial words, it’s the interaction that follows.
Thanks.
Robert,
I just wrote this to bikehikebabe and to you:
I think it’s great that Robert is writing slightly less and working on his own life, otherwise his writing will be shallow. He’s still incredibly young and has a bright future.
He’s already written about a lot of ideas. One thing he could do is write shorter posts saying how he’s trying to integrate those ideas into his own life, and the problems he’s encountering…that’s where his depth will come from. Notice I’m saying “trying to”. For me at least, practicing what I preach takes commitment and practice. It doesn’t happen overnight. So by saying “trying to” I give myself plenty of time to keep working on it. It relieves a lot of pressure.
Robert A.
on 19th Aug, 08 05:08pm
@Jean, thanks for copying the comments here. That message really encourage me to continue doing my best.
@Alex, Tim.
Thanks for the input. There is no right and wrong way, and we don’t have to be guilty about it.
Wish you the best, guys!
Robert
Annie Binns
on 22nd Aug, 08 03:08am
“Writing made me feel guilty for not being able to do it, while not writing made me feel guilty for not being able to keep up with the commitment and giving my best.”
It’s weird how you got into my head like that, Robert.
Really super post, you said so much of what I’ve been thinking. It’s very encouraging just to know that others have similar experiences.
Annie
Annie Binnss last blog post..Alfa Romeo MiTo | Supermini, Supersmart, Supercool
rummuser
on 23rd Aug, 08 06:08pm
Robert, thank you for the mention. Jean’s pulling me up got me to think hard about matters and I have promised her that I shall give careful consideration to her questions and respond. I shall do so as soon as I can put my thoughts coherently down on a post. In the meanwhile, congratulations on your resolve. I agree that if you have nothing to say, silence is a better option!
rummusers last blog post..Losers can get lucky! A tested guide to change your luck!
Robert A.
on 25th Aug, 08 08:08am
Hi Rummy, thanks for your message.
It’s really an honor for me. One successful person as you are willing to read my message, someone who is still finding his path to happiness.
Hi Annie, thanks for your comments. Hope now you’re free from the guilt of not writing anymore.
Cheers to you!
Robert
Ari Koinuma
on 26th Aug, 08 01:08am
That was a very honest and thought-provoking piece, Robert. Thanks.
Authenticity is something we ought to care about. It really affects our credibility on all fronts, both from others and to oneself. I always thought that the best thing you can do to the world is to live your life the way you mean to. I’m into rock music, and I’ve always admired those who go and play for benefit concerts and peace rallies and stuff. But a lot of times, they are not credible because their own life does not reflect the peace they are promoting. The best way to promote peace is to live a peaceful life.
This is something everybody struggles about, to some extent — from clergy to teacher to doctors. It’s hard to live what you preach. It takes the highest degree of integrity. But it’s a vision we must pursue, even if we fail occasionally. To do so otherwise is to compromise our own effectiveness. Even if nobody found out about it, you yourself compromise your self trust when you know you are not holding yourself up to the standards you are setting.
ari
Ari Koinumas last blog post..The Most Engaging Activity in Your Life (Digest)
Eva White
on 26th Sep, 08 04:09am
I always enjoy the Covey books. Both father and son. Sounds like one more must read for me.
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