Just Who Will You Be? by Maria Shriver
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Big question, little book, answer within. That’s the subtitle of the book. It’s really a little book, not very thick, not even 100 pages. It’s a simple book but I enjoy reading it. The message is straight forward, clear and encouraging. That is to just become who you are.
Nicole Bruce from The Book Report Network contacted me about 2 months ago. She requested a review on a book titled “Just Who Will You Be?” by Maria Shriver. She sent me a book afterwards, all the way from US to Singapore. I’m even surprised to receive the book.
I’m sure most of you know who Maria Shriver is. I knew it only after I read the first few paragraphs. She is the wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger (and I need to go to internet to spell that correctly ^^). She was a TV newswoman with NBC and she lost her job while her husband was going after the governor position of California. The company was afraid that there will be some conflict of interest if she stayed in the job.
She lost her job. All along she has been known as “TV newswoman Maria Shriver”. Without her job, she has no idea of who she is. Her son even introduced her only as a housewife, not a newswoman, nor the First Lady of the great state of California. And that really struck her down.
Just WHO will you be?
Maria Shriver
One day, her nephew asked her to give a graduation speech at his high school. She lost her job, she got nothing to talk about, and she had nothing she can be proud of herself.
She didn’t want to share her experience as a newswoman, because she was no longer doing it. She didn’t want to share about being one of the The Kennedy’s (as her uncle is the President John Kennedy), wife of Arnold, or the First Lady of great state of California. It’s all something that she has got, what she has achieved through others.
Eventually she chose to speak about what she has got. Something that many people, especially young people has pursued and desired. It is fame. With all the idols and reality show competition, fame seems to be something popular nowadays.
But interestingly… she didn’t consider fame as something important. Here is an interesting statement she wrote on the book about fame…
But no matter how good fame looks on the outside, it’s just an image. Trust me: Just because people know your name, it doesn’t mean they know who you are.
~Maria Shriver
People may know you very well, on the outside you might be very successful, but eventually you are the one who will know the real you. As what I shared on the lesson from Kung Fu Panda; it’s not what you have achieved that matters. You will see ‘you’ in the mirror after your success, you will have to see it and find out, who you are inside. You may achieve much, but if you are not happy with who you are, you will be disappointed with the figure in the mirror.
Just who WILL you be?
This book also shares about the growth and change. And particularly there is one paragraph that I like very much on what Maria said about change…
I’m not talking about running away or having plastic surgery or a dye job. I’m not talking about throwing away our core principles and values and morals. I’m talking about exactly the opposite. I’m talking about letting life’s experiences affect you and mature you. I’m talking about going down deep and finding out where you’re at and where you need to go next.
~Maria Shriver
It’s not about running away from what you are facing right now. It’s exactly the opposite, embracing where you are and letting them to affect and mature you. That’s how you’re supposed to change. That’s how you’re supposed to grow.
I’m pretty sure that this poem is pretty popular. It was shared by a friend and a contributor in this blog, Lim Chih-Yang and I want to share it again here.
Don’t Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author Unknown
Just who will YOU be?
And last but not least, I wanted to share the last statement that encouraged me, and I want to encourage you all to become who you are.
But most important, I will try to live an authentic life that feels true to me-which means living life as myself, not an imitation of anyone else, and not the reflection of myself in anyone else’s eyes.
~Maria Shriver
Maria taught me one more thing; it’s about living an authentic life. It’s no longer about comparing yourself to another. She had an option to go back to her old job. But she decided that she wanted to give herself to greater purpose. She has been living with a legacy where you are valued with your achievement, but she chose to serve communities with her life. Something that she will be proud of who she is!
It’s the life that each of us should choose to be as well, not an imitation of others, but simply the choice to be who YOU are.
Your turn: How do you live your life? Who will YOU be?
For your success,
Robert
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Hello and welcome! Here is Robert in Singapore, looking forward to share practical tips on personal development, especially from the point of view of introverts or normal people with limitations. Do subscribe to get the updates for free! And remember to show the world you have lots of reasons for smile!
July 30th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Wow! This is very inspiring and thought provoking.
Avani-Mehtas last blog post..Cheat Codes To Have A Happy Marriage
July 30th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
I figured that out when I was a kid. It took me a long time to understand what my life was really about, but I never got trapped by going for what other people think is important. I’m grateful for that. I do different things from time to time, but the essence of me is my basic philosophy: “Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens, keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others.”
For a bit more detail see the About page at Cheerful Monk.
July 31st, 2008 at 2:12 am
Hey…thanks for sharing the poem. I’m not sure that I’ve read it before.
I most certainly agree to the importance of living an authentic life. It’s not about showing a front or a struggle to pursue material possessions. It’s more about finding out who I am and making a choice of who I want to be. I love this topic because it reflects very much on my journey at this stage.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Maps last blog post..Confess Your Secrets
July 31st, 2008 at 3:41 am
So, Robert, are you living an authentic life, with no worry about the standard ideas of success? Please share.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..Randy Pausch—A Life Well-Lived
July 31st, 2008 at 5:04 am
Hi Robert
Robert you outdo yourself. What a wonderful article. You picked all the right things to talk about. I haven’t read the book, but now I have to put it up there on my list.
I love your articles, they are always interesting.
Nick
Nick Grimshawes last blog post..It Felt Love: A Hafiz Poem
July 31st, 2008 at 7:32 am
Hi Robert,
When I’m being the authentic me I’m getting to the guts of something I care about. Sometimes this is helping another. Sometimes it’s figuring out the main idea in something.
I’m here to shed light.
My hope is that through my blog I will be able to make my income doing this.
Authenticity really is what it is about I think.
Thanks for a great post.
Evans last blog post..Normal Services Will Be Resumed As Soon As Possible
July 31st, 2008 at 9:03 am
I reluctantly got the book on tape and listened to it, I was quite impresses, the “what do i believe and who do i want to be” question is the one that sticks to me. I am all about building a solid foundation.
It turns out this little book is a powerful gem, thanks for the reminder…
Cheers,
Tabss last blog post..Create Your Personal Guiding Principles
July 31st, 2008 at 10:20 am
@Evelyn and Evan,
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. Great to know that this post has become an inspiration for you as much as for me.
@Nick, thanks for such a compliment. I’m honored!
@Avani and Tabs, thanks for your very first comments. Hope to see you again in this blog. Let me know if you need any help!
@Jean, that’s a thought-provoking question! Authentic life? I’m still working on it.. With this blog, I’m sharing my life as authentic as possible, a lookout for the lesson that I can learn from life that I can share to others as well.
I believe that authentic life must be a life that grows as well. You can’t simply be authentic and stop growing, simply content with all your bad habit and characters. We all need to grow, authentically!
On the standard of success I’m looking after. I think it’s a process of finding out how far we can reach, maximizing our potential. It should not depend or compared to other people, it should be compared to our potential. And sometimes pressure and opportunities can be an open door for us to grow and stretch our limitation.
That’s my thought of having authentic life, which may go further in my future post =) Thanks for asking!
Robert
July 31st, 2008 at 4:18 pm
“Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is hear no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing….”
William Shakespeare.
I live my life as it comes, one day at a time, and on some stressful days, one hour or minute at a time. What will I be? A dash - on my tombstone the dash between the year of my birth and the year of my death. No more no less.
July 31st, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Did the following comment take?
Robert,
Thanks!
I’ve always had trouble with the concept of “maximizing my potential”, partly because we have all sorts of potentials and can’t maximize them all and partly because it focuses too much on the ego. One of my Traits for Stress-Hardy, Resilient People is “Even though they are dedicated to doing things well, they don’t take themselves too seriously.” I value having a sense of humor and lightness of touch. Mostly life seems to give me plenty of chances to learn and grow, so I don’t have to worry about it too much.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..Randy Pausch—A Life Well-Lived
August 1st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Hi,
I have read few books regarding this. I felt that as Asians, we live with tradition and culture attached. Means, that parents and families have a big contribution in our lives. And sometimes, becoming what we really want or in this terms living an authentic life, is nearly impossible. It’s an idealist point of view or perhaps more relevant for Westerners where freedom is the rights of everyone.
Asian people will be attached with parents and family expectations. We can’t live a life that we really want, because our decission will have impact for people surround us. I mean, I know that it is our own life and we have the right to decide what we want with our lives, but you know, we have to take into consideration that other people (families) still be impacted for our decision. So the decission we made is not for us only, but also for our loved ones. I want to be what I want to be but I also don’t want to dissapoint people whom I love and had supported me this far.
Jesicas last blog post..True to me
August 1st, 2008 at 9:16 am
Hi Jesica,
This is a dilemma for westerners too - believe me!
I don’t think Chinese/Asians are less authentic. They just find different ways of accommodating it - eg the Japanese have a category ‘crazy guy’. For Westerners it’s probably more peer pressure and for Asians family pressure but the same pressure. In the Asian cultures it is often processed through religions - the Buddhas or holy one’s renunciation.
But believe me Westerners, probably even Americans, feel this dilemma (I’m a white Australian).
Evan
Evans last blog post..Normal Services Will Be Resumed As Soon As Possible
August 1st, 2008 at 9:20 am
@Nicole,
Interesting quote there!
“What will I be? A dash - on my tombstone the dash between the year of my birth and the year of my death. No more no less.”
That’s how insignificant ourselves if we’re living for ourselves only. We are no longer a dash if we choose to live a legacy.
Robin Sharma said “When I was born, I was crying while the world laughs. I want to live my life in such a way, so that when I died, the world cry while I laugh!”
@Jean,
Thanks for sharing that thoughts, that’s exactly what is needed when we are to consumed with our own ambition. Enjoying who we are today, enjoying our everyday lives… I think we need to balance those two.
@Jesica,
I never knew that you’re reading my blog! =) Thanks for sharing your opinion. I think authentic live is more about living according to your priority and value. Determine your call, your value, and live it out (some kind of purpose-driven life). And we need to learn that we can’t be everyone, and we can’t please everyone. Your call doesn’t have to be all about yourself, in fact, it should not, it should be about God and His work.
Robert
August 1st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
The dash can be anything, it all depends on what we make of it. Robin Sharma is indeed very right.
August 1st, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Nicole, thanks for the clarification! A Dash: smthg seems to be insignificant for significant purpose! I’d like to share with you another quote…
One missionary, Jim Elliot, have a quote: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose”
He lost his life, he considered it insignificant for a purpose that he cannot lose. Isn’t that amazing!?
Robert
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:23 am
Jesica,
I agree with Robert, being authentic doesn’t mean ignoring your loved ones. You write, “I want to be what I want to be but I also don’t want to dissapoint people whom I love and had supported me this far.” I’d like to know more about what you want to be. How does that conflict with what your loved ones want? My guess is looking at that deeply will lead to more authenticity.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..Randy Pausch—A Life Well-Lived
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
A really great quote and a great explanation. True indeed.