Reason-4-Smile Weblog

The five steps to win with your limitation

Posted by Robert A. on Friday, March 7th, 2008

Do you have limitation?

I watched a TV program few weeks ago, it’s called I Journalist, an opportunity for amateur journalist to practice their journalism skill. The episode I watched that time is the struggle of someone with some kind of physical disability that troubled him to walk properly and to live a normal life. I can’t remember most parts of the show; but there is a statement that caught my attention while watching the show…

Everyone is disabled in a way, only that the physically disabled is more visible.

Sometimes I envy disabled person…

Why? Because they have something to overcome; by the time they overcome it, the achievement looks great. Take Shirley Cheng for example, a blind person who has authored/co-authored 28 books at the age of 25; don’t you think her blindness actually comes to her advantage? I personally interested to read the article about her because of her blindness, to be exact, her success despite of her blindness. I believe many of her books also sold because of that.

Or… Nic Vujicic for example, a man without limbs who is a famous speaker on religious and motivational seminar. I attached his video below which shares how his perspective of life helped him to be successful in life, despite of the absence of his limps. Again, his success is somehow highlighted beyond other speaker, and that comes from his handicapped situation.

I heard it often… courage is not the absence of fear; courage is the willingness to make action despite of fear. Similarly, your life story does not mean anything if you do not have something that you overcome.

The good news is… not only handicapped person, each of us human has disability in one way or another, it might be the result of our decision in the past, it might also be caused by the environment, parents, friends and the people we have grown up with. The question is then… not “whether we have limitation?” the question is “what should we do with our limitation?”

You may ask, “Why don’t we ignore these limitations instead?” Ignoring our limitation will not help us in overcoming them; Robin Sharma, a leadership guru shared a quote that affirms this principle…

What you resist will persist, but what you befriend, you will transcend.

Robin Sharma

Overcoming our limitations cannot be done by resisting them; that comes when you befriend them. That is the reason why I came out with the following steps, the five steps to win with your limitation.

1) Acknowledge your limitation

Oprah Winfrey has limitations; one of them is her body size and it was troubling her. Who she is now is a very different person, someone who has so much confidence and very successful in her life, her talk show has touched so many people’s life, she has become great influence in the community around the world. How does she gain her confidence? I will let her explain to you her own story…

Every day I put forth the effort to take care of myself. Only when you have self-awareness can you achieve self-acceptance. Only when you accept yourself can you experience self-love. And when you are capable of self-love, you learn to love. To express love is our ultimate goal. This is the path that leads you to the connection. And making the connection will change your life.

Oprah Winfrey -quoted by Jack M. Zufelt (The DNA of Success)

What she shared is actually more than acknowledging, it’s about loving yourself fully, and that includes your limitation. To summarize, here is the path that you need to take: Becoming aware of yourself à accepting yourself à loving yourself à loving others. Remember that the ultimate goal is the ability to help and express your love to others.

2) Own your limitation

Who do you blame for your limitation? Is it God for not giving you a pretty face, or your parents for not giving you the right direction, or maybe your friends for not giving you the help when it is needed? The second step to win with your limitation is to own the limitation, not blaming anyone but you for the limitation that you have.

Okay, I agree with you, not every limitation is your mistake, not every limitation is something you are accountable for. Some might be given to you since you were born, or some was being taught when you have no consciousness about them. But only when you are responsible for your mistake, you can outgrow them. It is one of the steps you need to become extraordinary person.

Remember, you are not asked to give beyond what you have! I listened from Jose Carol, an Indonesian speaker whose CD I got from my friend, Yohana Sherly. The title is “Within Your Reach”. The main message he shared: your purpose and call in your life is within your reach! It’s not within your hand, because you need some efforts to get it, but it is within your reach, within your capability and potential to achieve it.

You have no excuse for not giving your best, because there is something special within your reach, within your limitation that you can outgrow and achieve.

3) Express your limitation

I was being introduced with negative-assertion from the book Changes That Heal from Dr. Henry Cloud; he shared a very interesting point about it. Negative-assertion is about defining what is not you, and it is extremely important, as quoted from Dr. Henry Cloud here…

We must be able to say what is “not me” in order to have a “me”. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if “just any one would do.” Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.

Dr. Henry Cloud

This is the third step that you need to do to win with your limitation, expressing it! Don’t be a nice guy, yes-man or woman, you have no value if you can only say yes; I have shared another message on the importance of saying NO!, in short it will define your intimacy level, it acknowledge your limitation and eventually it will help you acknowledge the limitation of others.

4) Turn your limitation into advantages

Your limitation is there not by chance, but it will actually help you to reach out your call and goal in your life. An outstanding example, Thomas Alva Edison thanked his deafness for influencing his behaviour and career, providing himself with motivation on many of its inventions, and saving himself from the trouble of listening to negative comments.

Similarly, your limitation will actually help you to achieve your purpose and call in your life… and this is actually also the main theme of this blog, the attitude on how you can turn your limitation into advantages.

There are many points of how you can be thankful with your limitation at the moment… I’m compiling several points of how you can turn your limitation into advantages right now. It will become an article by itself, for the time being I’ll share with you one of the points: limitation will help you focus, as what W. Mitchell has quoted below…

Before my accident, there were ten thousand things I could do, and now there are only one thousand. I’d rather focus on the thousand left.

W. Mitchell -quoted by Jack M. Zufelt (The DNA of Success)

What is his background? I will share more in my next message about turning limitation into advantages…

5) Stretch your limitation

Eventually, you will have to stretch your limitation, and it’s about enlarging your comfort zone. Jack M. Zufelt shared the process in his book The DNA of Success on the attitude needed for success,

Your comfort zone is what you have right now in your life. If you want more out of your life, you must move into the discomfort zone -a much larger circle. The longer you stay in the discomfort zone, the more comfortable you become. Before long, the perimeter of the first circle disappears and your comfort zone will encompass this new, larger circle.

Jack M. Zufelt

It is always painful the first time you are taking a step outside your comfort zone, that is the time where you should not give up, stay and be comfortable with it, and eventually it will stretch your limitation. That is one thing that you need to be successful.

The ultimate goal

I’m giving this post’s title “The 5 steps to win with your limitation”, but it’s NOT about win-lose situation, it’s about win-win situation. How you work out your limitation eventually need to be used to help others win with their limitation. As what Oprah’s said, “To express love is our ultimate goal.”

Do I have limitation? Yes, being an introvert has baffled me so many times to be what I want, but I also find that my introversion does not come only with limitation, that comes with advantages. I’ve been tagged for 7 interesting facts about me by David Roger and Amy. And my next insights will share 7 interesting facts about my limitations and how they can become advantages in my success journey.

And I’m sure you have some too, what is your story of winning with limitation? How about turning limitation with advantages? Please share your thoughts in the comments, and I will add your story in my article on turning limitation into advantages.

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For your success,
Robert

And here is a video from Nic Vujicic, the second & third part within the three part series titled “No Arms, No Legs, No Worries.” Get ready to be inspired! =).
PS: You can find the first part here if you want to know more about his background.

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Posted in: The Human.

27 Responses to “The five steps to win with your limitation”

1. LaRene Ellis Says:
   March 7th, 2008 at 5:10 pm

   I liked your article. What you said is very true and you displayed it well. I talk about the very thing in my book and seminars. I hope you genuinely do well. I think you’re on the right track.

   LaRene

2. Robert A. Says:
   March 7th, 2008 at 10:21 pm

   Thanks a lot Larene, that really encourages me. I like your statement of how I should define success in your article
   Robert

3. Evan Says:
   March 8th, 2008 at 12:42 am

   Thanks for a superb post Robert.

   We don’t hear this message nearly enough.

   One disagreement perhaps. I’d put the stuff about moving into the discomfort zone a little differently maybe. Staying in the discomfort zone can just lead to people getting more and more scared and not going there again. I think if people move toward the discomfort zone with all the support they need they can stop where they feel comfortable. In this way the expansion will be pleasurable and be able to be looked forward to. This may of course be what Mr. Zufelt meant, so I’m not sure that I’m really disagreeing.

   Thanks for this post, I think this approach is very much needed.

4. Sol Lederman Says:
   March 8th, 2008 at 1:42 am

   Robert,

   Nice article. I especially appreciate the great videos from Nic. They’re amazingly motivational and have a great potential to change the perspective of many people.

   Thanks for sharing the inspiration. Inspiration is one of those great things that the more you give away, the more you have. Just like love.

   Sol Lederman’s last blog post..ADHD: One cause, one cure?

5. Robert A. Says:
   March 8th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

   Hi Evan, thanks for sharing your thought, I believe what Jack is trying to say is that we need to practice stepping out of comfort zone..

   An example, being spontaneous in conversation is quite difficult for me, but whenever I have a chance, I’ll try being spontaneous, not to think too much before speaking. As I make an effort to do it, as I practice, eventually spontaneous in a conversation will not be so difficult for me, it’s my comfort zone already.

   I’m wondering how it will be different with what you’re saying, appreciate if you can explain to me further.

   Thanks for the comment and the review in StumbleUpon.
   Robert

6. Robert A. Says:
   March 8th, 2008 at 1:13 pm

   Hi Sol, thanks for visiting and your comments. Glad that it has become an inspirational for you. I totally agree with your comment, the more you teach, the more you share the inspiration, the more you get….

   My inspiration is now piled up that I even don’t have time to write them all. =(, I hope I will be able to learn more about managing my time and share more to you guys.

   Robert

7. Evan Says:
   March 8th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

   Hi Robert,

   The difference for me is that those who speak of moving out of your comfort zone sometimes regard being fearful as good or a sign of progress.

   For me scaring yourself if we do it at all should be done rarely.

   Jack and I may agree and just be putting it differently.

   But the idea of moving to where you are scared is not the best way in my view. And Jack may not be saying this.

   I trust this makes sense.

   Evan’s last blog post..A Website for Listening and Support

8. Evan Says:
   March 9th, 2008 at 1:14 am

   I don’t know if I’m misrepresenting Jack so I guess I should speak generally.

   I find that those who advocate ‘moving beyond our comfort zone’ often mean we need to be scared. Fear, in some sense becomes a measure that we are doing something right or progressing. I think this is a misconception.

   When we are panicked or fearful we tend to react automatically - not helpful to reflection and learning. So I think usually the best way to learn (expand our repertoir of behaviour) is to have the time and space to reflect, play, try things out, fail and try and play some more. I think it is usually better to move to the place where it is safe to play rather than move to the place where we scare ourselves.

   I think that at least the first option should be to examine how we deal with our limitations in a fun way. If it is pleasurable we are more likely to want to do it again. This seems more enjoyable and is often more speedy and productive as well.

   Evan’s last blog post..A Website for Listening and Support

9. Robert A. Says:
   March 9th, 2008 at 1:44 am

   Hi Evan, I got what you are trying to say now, thanks for adding the thought to the article, I will share your insight in my upcoming article.

   Instead of being scared of our process of learning, we should enjoy our process of learning, I like the word ‘play’ that you use, that represents the enjoyment of learning.

   Thanks Evan, really appreciate your time to explain to me.

   Cheers,
   Robert

10. The most important skill you need to learn : Reason-4-Smile Weblog Says:
    March 9th, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    [...] Evan: I don’t know if I’m misrepresenting… [...]

11. Raymond Chua Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 4:27 am

    I used to envy the disable people and wanna be like them until I met the Law of Attraction.

    Then, I know that I am attracting the wrong thing. I should focus on what I want instead.

    Since then, I just focus and wish for their strength but filter out the weaknesses.

    Raymond Chua’s last blog post..Where Are The Legs?

12. Robert A. Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Hi Raymond, yes, instead of envy, we can choose to learn. We can learn from anyone and that includes the disabled, see their strength despite of their limitations.

    Thanks,
    Robert

13. Debo Hobo Says:
    March 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    I sometime wonder who is really the supposed disabled one.

    I think those that are “normal” are truely the diabled ones because they get in their own way and are the first to say “I Can’t do it”. I also think the “disabled” are better adjusted and more willing and capable of dealing with adversity then the “normal” person.

    Debo Hobo’s last blog post..Ugly Shoes That Have No Heel

14. Robert A. Says:
    March 11th, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    Hi Deborah,
    Thanks for your interesting comment, sometimes the “normal” people are just so satisfied with their life, that they don’t think of growing. There’s really something that we can learn from the disabled. Their attitude, their courage and will to deal with their difficult adversity. Maybe that’s the school of adversity giving you, more wisdom.

    Welcome to my blog, hope to see you again,
    Robert

15. Nick Grimshawe Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 4:17 am

    Hi Robert,

    Another great article. I like all the quotes, being a quote kinda guy. But you raise some interesting insights into the whole subject of limitations. As someone who really didn’t “see” limitations, it came as a shock to me to run smack right into the wall of one. It took me along time to recover from that realization. Now I understand I have limitations, and that the ones I focus on I can overcome, and the rest…well I know they are there, and I accept them which is the first step I believe.

    Nick

    Nick Grimshawe’s last blog post..A Complaint Free Quote

16. Robert A. Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Hi Nick, thank you for the comment. Yea, my articles are inspired a lot by quotes, quite amazed to see that many quotes and books are related.

    I will be discussing limitation for at least in the other 2 upcoming articles. Accepting limitation is the first step we need to take, afterwards, we need to take our limitation as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks.

    Thanks for another encouraging comments.

    Cheers,
    Robert

17. David Rogers Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    Robert
    Societies have always put limitations on the opportunities available to people because of disabilities, race, gender, sexuality - sometimes enshrined in law, other times by prevailing attitudes. I’ve just been preparing to give a workshop next week on how mental health services are based around alleviating symptoms, rather than enabling those with mental health problems lead a life that is meaningful to them.

    As a lifelong introvert I think we need to be careful we don’t overplay this particular character trait into a problem in itself. In the UK there is 82% unemployment amongst those who experience mental health problems - which to me is a problem with our society rather than a limitation imposed by the effects of being mentally ill. I think we need to differentiate between limitations that are a problem to us and how we think about ourselves, and limitations people have to endure or battle because of their society.
    David

    David Rogers’s last blog post..A Confident Move

18. Evan Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    David,
    You are a man after my own heart. I couldn’t agree more strongly.

    Evan’s last blog post..Make Your Future: It’s Healthy.

19. Robert A. Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    Hi David, that’s a great message that you’re about to share. Thanks for sharing with us.

    What I believe needed is letting the public knows that they can trust the mentally ill to work for them. Sometimes it’s not because people put limitations on them, but they just can’t trust them. I guess we really need more understanding on them.

    Wish you all the best for next week,
    Robert

20. Reason-4-Smile Weblog Says:
    March 21st, 2008 at 9:34 am

    [...] Movie & TV Shows.  A statement by one of the actors or the presenters can trigger my inspiration. My article, “Naive’s guide to happiness” is inspired the movie Enchanted. Here is another article inspired by a TV show, “Five steps to win with your limitation.“ [...]

21. Richard Callaby Says:
    March 21st, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    Thanks for the shot in the arm I so needed and did not know! I have a limitation that I do own up to and try to surpass it as much as I can but since I do not have the money to get it fixed I just deal with it as much as I can. I know I can be a success but sometimes I doubt myself and do not get motivated enough. This post really helped me with that. I truly appreciate it! Thanks!

22. Robert A. Says:
    March 22nd, 2008 at 1:47 am

    Richard, thanks for mentioning the impact of my article to me! That really encouraged me so much! Thanks for visiting, I notice that you have stumbled few of my past articles as well, thank you so much for that!

    Wish you greater success in the future,
    Robert

23. When it comes to relationship, limitation “sells” : Reason-4-Smile Weblog Says:
    March 23rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    [...] have ever shared Nic Vujicic’s story in the first message in this series, “The 5 steps to win with your limitation“. He has no limbs but he has the right perspective, he has attitude and confidence, and that [...]

24. Ten symptoms of having vision beyond yourself : Reason-4-Smile Weblog Says:
    March 31st, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    [...] limitation. Instead, you will be looking forward for growth. The question you should ask is “how can you win with the limitation you have right now?” We all can start wherever we are to fulfill a vision beyond ourselves. Look at the [...]

25. SaiF Says:
    April 21st, 2008 at 7:09 am

    Hey Robert!

    I got hooked after I read what you wrote about how you used to envy disabled people. Because to tell you the truth, I used to think the same way!

    Until I realised that Hey! I’m being stupid! God gave me perfect everything so that I can go out and DO SOMETHING!

    You know what I mean?

    I think they’re fortunate in that everyday they have to stretch themselves to do a task we take for granted and in the process develop more mental toughness.

    We on the other hand, take everything for granted and choose to live with our limiting beliefs.

    Well, I remember a point where I’ve had it and “stretch” my limiting beliefs as you have said. I thoroughly enjoyed this post and stumbled it! Hope more people read this!

    Thank you for this great post Robert =)

    To CANI,

    SaiF
    The World’s First Teen
    Personal Development Video Blogger

    SaiF’s last blog post..A Special Video For My Readers

26. Robert A. Says:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Hi SaiF, glad to know another blogger from Singapore!
    Thanks and welcome to my blog. Happy to know that you enjoy my articles.

    Thank you for sharing one insight about the handicapped, that they have developed mental toughness due to their challenge as well. As many speaker has said, the good is the opposite of the best. Easily satisfied with who we are right now, can rob us from the greater potential that we have within.

    Glad to know another person who is as enthusiast on getting better. Please do keep in touch!

    The CANI you’ve put, do you refer to Constant and never ending improvement, suggested by Anthony Robbin? I read his book and found lots of great insights within as well.

    Thanks,
    Robert

27. Winning People with Our Limitations | Winning Everyone Says:
    July 2nd, 2008 at 5:56 am

    [...] a reflection as I wrote an article for my blog, Reason-4-Smile Weblog. It was the last article on Limitation and Advantages series; a series that is very close to the theme in my blog, “turning limitation into [...]

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