What you have to do with your decision
You’ve got your decision made, you’ve chosen to go, against the storms outside to pursue your dream, purpose and passion, so what’s next?
In short, be thankful with your decision! Gratitude is especially important for us to not staying in the past, moving forward and making another decision to pursue our dream.
I’ve been sharing the series on decision making, being a leader or being successful you will need to do a lot of decision making, and for many of us, decision making is not easy. And even after we made our decision, being confident about our decision is not an easy task as well. Here is what I learn about the decision we made…
Learn to get stuck with your decision…
I watch a very good video from Dan Gilbert, when he shared his idea in TEDTalk. His presentation talks about the synthetic happiness, the happiness that we made even when we don’t get what we want. It’s said about the joy of being stuck.
In the video -which you can see at the end of this article-, he explained about his experiment with students where he asked them to pick one picture out of two pictures. However, there is one difference where one group is being told that their choice is replaceable, while the others are being told that their choice is not replace-able.
You may think that students who are given with the option to replace their photo will be happier, but the experiment shows that students who are stuck with their photo are happier.
Similarly, decision making is irreplace-able, we made the decision, that’s with the past, but sadly, many consider that their decision is undo-able, living in the past, saying would-a, could-a, should-a; thinking “I should not have said that” or “I could have done that”. Acknowledge that your past is the past; you can’t change your past! And learn to be happy, to be gratitude with the decision you have made.
Acknowledge your loss…
If you’ve taken economic class before, you must have learned about opportunity cost. Every decision comes with opportunity cost, everything you have decided have losses attached with it, when you choose one thing, you will lose the other thing.
In our mind, we may not be able to accept that; perfectionists want to have all, to know all and do everything. An important thing for us to learn is accepting that we can’t do all, we can’t make everyone happy; we can be anyone for everyone. Picking a decision, picking a priority, acknowledge the loss of not being able to do the other thing.
I’m not talking about crying or regretting your loss, I’m saying acknowledging, which means you know, you accept and you can still be thankful and happy even after your loss.
Move forward with your decision…
Don’t look back after you made your decision, move forward, once you have made a decision, not everything will go as you plan, but do your best to go forward!
I’ve been sharing before a lesson that I’ve been inspired by a naive princess from the recent movie “Enchanted”, coming from fairyland with no experience of real world. She wanted to clean the house, and normally she’s just singing la-la-la song to ask for help from the animals in the fairyland, but doing so in the real world results with only dirty creatures coming, the pigeons, rats and cockroaches. She’s not regretting the decision she has made, but she makes use whatever resources she has and make the best use of them. She’s cleaning the house even with those dirty creatures.
Similarly, look at your hand now, from your decision comes result, and see how you can go forward with whatever at your hands, you need to make decision again to move forward and the best decision comes from whatever you have, not what you don’t have, such as undo-ing your past!
Don’t be tied by your past decision…
What if everything doesn’t work? Sometimes our past decision tie us to be unreasonable, keep moving forward while what in front of us is stony wall. You may say, “I’ve paid a lot, I’ve invested so much energy, money and time!” And based on this, your logic is saying that you need to keep moving forward. Think again!
Again the best decision to be made next is not based on your past, don’t let your past determine what you have to do now, let go of your past and make your best decision now!
Nothing is lost. Even if it’s a failure, you still get the invaluable lesson from the experience.
After decision we’ll come with a time of making the next decision, and what I will say is learn to be happy with your decision, keep moving forward in life but be flexible, whatever comes your way, makes the best decision based on what you have now, not what you wish you have, as if you can return to the past!
Do you have such experience? Tempted to look back and repeat the whole thing again? How not doing it and move forward have helped you in the past? Please do share in the comments!
For your success,
(photo by enggul)
- The naive’s guide to happiness (How to be naive and happy) (6 comments)
- The lazy man’s guide to better decision making (3 comments)
- Dream as if you will live forever! (8 comments)
More resources on gratitude in the Gratitude Project by Akemi Gaines.
Here is the TEDTalk video on synthetic happiness, if you have no time to watch the whole clip, I’ll suggest to watch from minute 15:30 to the end, or reading from the transcript.
More inspiring videos from TED Ideas Worth Spreading.