Relationship: Testing your character
How do you test that you have a strong muscle? That certainly will be determined by how heavy the weight that you can lift up. What’s good of someone who is claiming that he is strong without training with dumbbell or any other resistances? How can his muscles being trained and tested?
Similarly, what’s good of our character if we are not testing them…
I don’t have any problems relating to people. Really. It’s true. I don’t ever get irritated or
upset with anyone: as long as I’m alone. It’s amazing just how easy life is when I’m alone
and isolated. The worst in me can lie dormant for years as long as there’s no one around to awaken the sleeping giants inside of me.
Life in isolation is always easier, it’s the place where we easily have our strength in both character and people skill. That might be the reason why many of us choose to live by disconnecting. Disconnecting is easy, not the same with a life in relationship. But disconnecting is empty, while connecting with people is abundant.
Three important steps of having your character tested:
- Hang out and networking
Time of getting to know more people, potential friends, there is some saying that “strangers are friends we have yet to meet”. This will test your confidence in getting to know strangers, introduction and finding topics to talk about.
Tips: Introverts may not good in making small talk, but here is something that I find useful to talk about. It’s habit of asking as I have shared before, finding the strength of your new friend, and talk about it, ask more about their experiences and challenges. - Spending time with others
Simply spending time with others shows that we are looking forward to improving our relationship with others. I’m interested in reading a book by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz, Never Eat Alone. From the cover, this book seems to talk about improving relationship, one at a time. Simply a lunch or dinner with a friend, shows our willingness to be committed, and spending time for a relationship. It’s the realization of the importance of relationship in our life. - Committed to relationship
This is where the real challenges began, when conflicts and disappointments happen. Many choose the way of withdrawing and disconnecting, giving up of the relationship. But here is a devotional message that I read from PurposeDrivenLife.com.
It requires real effort to work through our differences, to remain transparent and honest, to confront and to pay close attention to each other. Frankly, it’s easier to keep relationships superficial; to ‘demonize’ one another when we don’t agree; to cut and run at the first sign of trouble rather than commit to each other.
- Jon Walker @ PurposeDrivenLife.com
In conclusion, it’s really important to be committed to each other, that’s when the real character is being tested! Not withdrawing or disconnecting, but confront with honesty and transparency, for the good of the other person, or at least for the relationship to work out.
Disconnected life is easy but simply empty, choose to relate and enjoy your relationships! That’s when your real characters are tested!
(photo by Jayel Abraham)
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