How do you test that you have a strong muscle? That certainly will be determined by how heavy the weight that you can lift up. What’s good of someone who is claiming that he is strong without training with dumbbell or any other resistances? How can his muscles being trained and tested?

Similarly, what’s good of our character if we are not testing them…

I don’t have any problems relating to people. Really. It’s true. I don’t ever get irritated or
upset with anyone: as long as I’m alone. It’s amazing just how easy life is when I’m alone
and isolated. The worst in me can lie dormant for years as long as there’s no one around to awaken the sleeping giants inside of me.

- Weekly Battle Plan @ EveryMansBattle.com

Life in isolation is always easier, it’s the place where we easily have our strength in both character and people skill. That might be the reason why many of us choose to live by disconnecting. Disconnecting is easy, not the same with a life in relationship. But disconnecting is empty, while connecting with people is abundant.

Three important steps of having your character tested:

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Be what you are.
This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.
-Julius Charles Hare

The way is still long, becoming a better you requires practice, practice, and practice. A lot of things need to be changed, we have been formed over the years by our past decisions and experiences, both the good one and the bad one, and we need to change! The first step is… being what you are.

(photo by sean dreilinger)

There are two important things about being what you are and accepting yourself:
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Many times, introverts felt that something is wrong with them. This happens especially when they are in the middle of crowd, among the extroverts. Many people are saying that introverts are bad and extroverts are good.

I read a book from Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D, titled “The Introvert Advantage” and it gives me a lot of insights to be thankful for the introvert character. The introverts have advantages and they are supposed to make use their uniqueness instead of resenting them.

These are the 8 reasons that I have compiled on why introvert is OK!

1. Introverts are not antisocial

The first wrong assumption that people have about introverts is that they are antisocial. But it’s not true! Introverts do enjoy the time with people and especially the one-on-one conversations.

Introverts have social skills, they like people, and they enjoy some types of socializing… Introverts enjoy one-on-one conversations, but group activities can be overstimulating and drain energy.

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

2. Introverts enjoys being alone to recharge their energy

 

Introverts are like a rechargeable battery… extroverts are like solar panels.

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

Summarizing what Marti said, this is also a key distinction of introverts from extroverts. Introverts are rechargeable batteries who need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge, while extroverts are solar panels who need the sun to recharge, they need to be out and about to refuel and recharge themselves.

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(photo by Arbron)

If you have watched the TV series: Heroes, you must be familiar with original version of the statement above, “Save the cheerleader, save the world!“. This message is not about the TV series, but it’s about the cheerleader.

If you have ever watched any sport game before, it can be soccer, basketball, rugby, etc, you will see them, supporting their favorite team to win the competition. It would be very nice that we will have cheerleader when we are fighting, when we are growing or when we are pursuing our dream. It would be nice if all our friends are our cheerleader, to save our world!

Too bad, that’s not the case! Sometimes we won’t have any cheerleader, we are faced with many criticism, will we still have our world, or does it fall apart?

This message is inspired from my experience last week, a close friend of mine criticized me on blogging. One says it’s a waste of time, another says I should go out, socialize and not writing and blogging at home. When I shared my passion, they are not excited at all, they find it too silly, I think too much, and so on. And the bad things, it came from friends that I trusted.

I guessed, Joel Osteen is having the same struggle right now, the recent podcast I heard from him really encourages me…

Sometimes you have to have faith that stands alone.

Joel Osteen

What should we do when we have no cheerleader, or when we are faced with negative criticism:

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This post is a copy of my new About page, it’s about renewing the blog with a focus for more specific reader, the introverts, shy and naive, the person who is reflective and deep thinker, but someone who is aspired to become a leader, a better person.

Me myself started as an introvert, shy and naive person, but aspired to become a leader, not an easy dream with such characteristics, of course. But that’s what this blog is all about, a journey of overcoming weaknesses, accepting our current limitation and courage to change. It’s all about growing! And especially, the introvert way!

Why am I inspired to become a leader?
Simply because I want to shine, bring creativity into reality, helping more people and bring them to achieve their dream. This is a very good quote about not to play small:

You’re a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson (A Return To Love)

What will a leader take?

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Recently, I read few articles from various blogs that emphasize the importance of writing it out:

1. To learn from your failure

One of the simplest and most powerful methods to learn from your experience is to write out how you would deal with it if you were to repeat it. The act of writing it out places the lesson in your mind …. Your writing becomes a plan for dealing with those situations.


Jonathan Frye (3-Steps for How to Respond to Failure @ LeadershipJot.com)

2. To overcome jealousy

By writing down your thoughts, it gives you an opportunity to express yourself, but also lays your options out clearly on paper… Ask yourself “Why do I feel this way?” Write out all your reasons out on paper.

Tina Su (9 Ways to Overcome Jealousy @ ThinkSimpleNow.com)

3. To overcome your depression

Write it down. Make a list of what’s depressing you. Take out a paper and pen, and start writing. It’s that simple. This is done to physically get it “out of your head”. Now you can look at your problems in a more objective way.


Alex Kay (What to Do and Think When You Feel Down @ JustKeepTheChange.com)

 

It’s really good to start the habit of writing. You can choose either blogging, or journaling. Before I started blogging, I started the habit of journaling. Journaling is merely writing down your experience in the day you journal. It can be a success, failure, feelings, friends you meet up with, things you learned, and so on. In fact, anything you want to write. I moved to blogging to be more focused on what I have learned and share it with others.

Here is the benefit of writing it out:

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I believe in angels…
something good in everything I see,
I believe in angels…
when I know the time is right for me,

I’ll cross the stream, I have a dream…

I’m sure that most of us will know the lyric above, taken from the song I Have A Dream, popularized by Westlife on the year 1999. The song is about the power of dream, beyond our failure and reality. It’s a really good song, but comes to the chorus, something tickles me. How come it mentioned about belief in angels and not in God? It’s before I knew this verse, of how significant angels are in our life…

Are not the angels all ministering spirits (servants) sent out in the service [of God for the assistance] of those who are to inherit salvation?

Hebrew 1:14 (AMP)

Angels, sent by God, for our assistance, servants of God comes to the world to assist us. The Amplified bible even called them “servants”.

Let’s imagine what will we do when we have these invisible servants, wherever we go?

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Some of us will be reminded of the special day with your loved one(s), the day you say “I love you”, your first date, your wedding day, your honeymoon or your time with your friends and family.

Some of us will be reminded of the day we achieved our goal, the day you break the record, the day you made your best deal, achieving your business goal.

Some of us will be reminded of the day we’re rewarded, maybe your birthday, and everyone throws you a surprise b’day party, when somebody give you what you have longed for, or being promoted on your job.

And some of us will be reminded of the day we gave, the day we’re able to help somebody, we ministered and made impact to other people’s life.

But what Joyce Meyer’s answer in her article surprised me, she said…

I have decided that today is going to be the happiest day of my life! Tomorrow I will make the same decision, and the day after that and so on.

Joyce Meyer

As psalmist said,

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad.

King David (Psalm 118:24)

Notice, the ‘will’, having a happy day is usually the result of our choice, our attitude toward whatever happens during the day. Some options:

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Very encouraging video, from a friend of mine, cute Lydia ^^. For any video production needed, please contact her @ http://www.dzignforyou.com/

Not only from great people, take lessons from difficult people. Wherever we are, sooner or later, we’ll meet one or two difficult people, even more maybe. It’s better to take lessons from them rather than resent or complain about them.

What kind of lessons? T. Harv Eker in his book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, state it clearly…

From now on, I want you to practice re-framing other people’s negativity as a reminder of how not to be.

T. Harv Eker

Recently, I dealt with some people, big position with small heart, treated their people like tools for their own benefit. I pity them as people who are unable to trust even their own staff, fear on losing of what they have, and eventually they have to take ways to force their staffs to stay with bond, trick them, using their pay as threat to get what they want. I really have no idea, why don’t they think that happier staff, happier customer,better business, and eventually bigger profit.

So here it is, some steps to “re-frame” difficult people:
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